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Sentinel Housing Association » Dealing with domestic abuse

December 1, 2015

Sentinel Housing Association » Dealing With Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse is when one partner harms another partner in some way. It can happen even after the relationship is over. This is where one partner is:

  • Physically abusing you
  • Harassing you
  • Making threats
  • Withholding money or other things
  • Destroying your things
  • Emotionally abusing you
  • Domestic abuse can occur in all types of relationships and men can also suffer domestic abuse.

It s a hard hitting fact that 25% of women and 16% of men are affected by domestic violence during their adult lifetimes.

Even more shocking is that 2 women on average are killed each week by their partner or ex-partner in England and Wales.

We re raising awareness for The National 16 Days of Action against domestic violence, 25 November 10 December.

Mike Shepherd our Development and Regeneration Director, spoke to Paul Ross on BBC Radio Berkshire about the 5 homes we ll be providing in Hampshire, to help people move on from domestic violence.

Listen to the interview here, it starts at 18 mins 10 secs http://bbc.in/1NRQrJk1

I think I may be suffering domestic abuse

If you think you may be experiencing domestic abuse, there are three important steps to take:

  1. Recognise that it s happening to you. Often behaviour is repeated over again. Some abusers say sorry and persuade you that it won t happen again.
  2. Accept that you re not to blame it s not easy to explain your partner s behaviour and many victims blame themselves.

    It s not your fault. Nobody deserves to suffer this.

  3. Tell someone it can be very difficult to take the first step and ask for help. You may find it easier to talk to somebody you trust first.

    There are many organisations out there to offer help and support.

What can I do?

It s a good idea to try to prepare in case you need to leave urgently:

Find somewhere safe to stay in an emergency. This could be with friends or relatives, at a woman s refuge or in emergency accommodation through your local council
Save extra money for a bus or taxi fare
Get an extra set of keys to the house/car
Take important documents and medication

What can we do?

We ll work with the council and police to get you somewhere safe to stay. We ll try and get you a housing transfer if you can t stay in your home.

Rent arrears won t stop you from being moved to another property. We can also refer you to organisations who can give you more specialist advice and support.

If you report domestic abuse, we ll contact you within one working day. We ll try to arrange for you to be interviewed by someone of the same gender or ethnic background if you wish

I think a neighbour or friend is experiencing domestic abuse what can I do to help?

Make sure that they re safe.

This is the most important thing.

If you suspect an incident is taking place, call the police on 999.

Be understanding, supportive and a good listener. They may have to trust you before they can admit that this is happening. If you re critical, it may stop them telling you any more.

Respect their decisions.

It may take time for them to get enough courage to seek help or leave the relationship.

You can t force them to take action it must be their decision.

Help them get help. They may need you to go to hospital with them, or report it to the police. You might be able to get information and advice from other organisations on their behalf.

Keep yourself safe.

Don t offer to talk to the abuser as you may put yourself in danger, and the abuser may punish the person affected by domestic abuse for confiding in you.

Organisations that can help

Police
Emergencies 999
Non-emergencies 101
Hampshire Domestic Abuse Partnership2
Crimestoppers Give information anonymously about crime www.crimestoppers-uk.org3 0800 555 111.

Crimestoppers isn t an emergency service and if you see a crime taking place you should ring 999 to report it immediately.

If you are a victim of crime you should report this to your local police.

Advice, support and refuge for women

24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk4 0808 2000247
Rights of Women 5www.rightsofwomen.org.uk6 Legal helpline: 020 7251 6577 Sexual violence helpline: 020 7251 8887
Stonham Home Group Basingstoke Domestic Abuse Outreach Service 01256 478888
Stonham Home Group Rushmoor and Hart Refuge 01252 337026
Stonham Home Group Eastleigh Refuge 01590 689 497
South West Surrey Domestic Abuse Outreach Service 01483 577392
Surrey Domestic Abuse (24 hour helpline) 01483 776822
Refuge www.refuge.org.uk7
West Berkshire Domestic Abuse Service 0800 731 0055
Women s Aid www.womensaid.org.uk8

Advice and support for men

ManKind www.mankind.org.uk9 01823 334244
Men s Advice Line www.mensadviceline.org.uk10 0808 8010327

Advice and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people

Broken Rainbow www.broken-rainbow.org.uk11 0300 999 5428
London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard www.llgs.org.uk12 020 7837 7324

Advice and support for children

Childline www.childline.org.uk13 0800 1111
The Hideout www.thehideout.org.uk14

Advice and support for parents and families

Family Lives www.familylives.org.uk15 0808 8002222
Gingerbread (single parent families) www.gingerbread.org.uk16 0808 802 0925
Reunite International (for parents of abducted children) www.reunite.org17 01162 556 234

Advice and support for adults caring for children

Barnardo s www.barnardos.org.uk18
National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) www.nspcc.org.uk19 0808 800 5000

Advice and support for older people

Action on Elder Abuse www.elderabuse.org.uk 080 8808 8141

General advice

Citizens Advice Bureau www.adviceguide.org.uk20
Aldershot 08444 111 304
Alton 0844 4111306 (landlines) / 0300 3300650 (mobiles)
Andover and District 01264 365534
Basingstoke 0844 2451283
Camberley 01276 684 342
Eastleigh 023 8061 6046
Farnborough 08444 111 304
Farnham 0844 848 7969
Fleet 01252 617922
Godalming 0844 848 7969
Guildford 01483 576699
Tadley 01189 817760
Yateley 01252 878410
West Berkshire 08444 77 99 80
Winchester 01962 848000

Housing

Basingstoke and Deane Borough Council Housing Services www.basingstoke.gov.uk21 01256 844844
East Hampshire District Council Housing Options and Advice Team www.easthants.gov.uk22 01730 234345
Eastleigh Borough Council Housing Services www.eastleigh.gov.uk23 023 80688165
Guildford Borough Council Housing Advice Centre www.guildford.gov.uk24 01483 444244
Hart District Council Housing Services www.hart.gov.uk25 01252 622122
Rushmoor Borough Council Housing Services www.rushmoor.gov.uk26 01252 398399
Surrey Heath Borough Council www.surreyheath.gov.uk/housing27 01276 707127
Test Valley Borough Council Housing Options Team www.testvalley.gov.uk28 01264 368000 / 01792 527700
Waverley Borough Council Housing and Tenancy www.waverley.gov.uk29 01483 523169
West Berkshire Council Housing Operations Team www.westberks.gov.uk30 01635 519530
Shelter www.shelter.org.uk31 0808 8004444

Legal advice

Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority www.cica.gov.uk32 0800 358 3601
Community Legal Advice https://claonlineadvice.justice.gov.uk33 0845 345 4 345
National Centre for Domestic Violence www.ncdv.org.uk34 0844 8044 999

Specialist advice, counselling and support

Forced Marriage Unit www.fco.gov.uk35 020 7008 0151
National Stalking Helpline www.stalkinghelpline.org36 0808 802 0300
Rape Crisis Helpline www.rapecrisis.org.uk37 0808 8029999
Relate www.relate.org.uk38 0300 1001234
Samaritans www.samaritans.org39 0845 7909090
Victim Support www.victimsupport.org.uk40 0845 3030900
You can call us free on 0800 195 5515 or email [email protected]41 for more information.

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References

  1. ^ http://bbc.in/1NRQrJk (bbc.in)
  2. ^ Hampshire Domestic Abuse Partnership (www.regional-weather.co.uk)
  3. ^ www.crimestoppers-uk.org (www.crimestoppers-uk.org)
  4. ^ www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk (www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk)
  5. ^ (www.rightsofwomen.org.uk)
  6. ^ www.rightsofwomen.org.uk (www.rightsofwomen.org.uk)
  7. ^ www.refuge.org.uk (www.refuge.org.uk)
  8. ^ www.womensaid.org.uk (www.womensaid.org.uk)
  9. ^ www.mankind.org.uk (www.mankind.org.uk)
  10. ^ www.mensadviceline.org.uk (www.mensadviceline.org.uk)
  11. ^ www.broken-rainbow.org.uk (www.broken-rainbow.org.uk)
  12. ^ www.llgs.org.uk (www.llgs.org.uk)
  13. ^ www.childline.org.uk (www.childline.org.uk)
  14. ^ www.thehideout.org.uk (www.thehideout.org.uk)
  15. ^ www.familylives.org.uk (www.familylives.org.uk)
  16. ^ www.gingerbread.org.uk (www.gingerbread.org.uk)
  17. ^ www.reunite.org (www.reunite.org)
  18. ^ www.barnardos.org.uk (www.barnardos.org.uk)
  19. ^ www.nspcc.org.uk (www.nspcc.org.uk)
  20. ^ www.adviceguide.org.uk (www.adviceguide.org.uk)
  21. ^ www.basingstoke.gov.uk (www.basingstoke.gov.uk)
  22. ^ www.easthants.gov.uk (www.basingstoke.gov.uk)
  23. ^ www.eastleigh.gov.uk (www.eastleigh.gov.uk)
  24. ^ www.guildford.gov.uk (www.guildford.gov.uk)
  25. ^ www.hart.gov.uk (www.guildford.gov.uk)
  26. ^ www.rushmoor.gov.uk (www.rushmoor.gov.uk)
  27. ^ www.surreyheath.gov.uk/housing (www.surreyheath.gov.uk)
  28. ^ www.testvalley.gov.uk (www.testvalley.gov.uk)
  29. ^ www.waverley.gov.uk (www.waverley.gov.uk)
  30. ^ www.westberks.gov.uk (www.westberks.gov.uk)
  31. ^ www.shelter.org.uk (www.shelter.org.uk)
  32. ^ www.cica.gov.uk (www.cica.gov.uk)
  33. ^ https://claonlineadvice.justice.gov.uk (claonlineadvice.justice.gov.uk)
  34. ^ www.ncdv.org.uk (www.ncdv.org.uk)
  35. ^ www.fco.gov.uk (www.fco.gov.uk)
  36. ^ www.stalkinghelpline.org (www.stalkinghelpline.org)
  37. ^ www.rapecrisis.org.uk (www.rapecrisis.org.uk)
  38. ^ www.relate.org.uk (www.relate.org.uk)
  39. ^ www.samaritans.org (www.samaritans.org)
  40. ^ www.victimsupport.org.uk (www.victimsupport.org.uk)
  41. ^ [email protected] (www.sentinelha.org.uk)
  42. ^ All (www.sentinelha.org.uk)
  43. ^ (www.sentinelha.org.uk)
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  50. ^ (www.sentinelha.org.uk)
  51. ^ (www.sentinelha.org.uk)
  52. ^ Back to Blog (www.sentinelha.org.uk)

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